I found this hilarious “Christmas Parable” at Drunkendata.com:
Little Joe, who would one day grow up to be the CEO of a major storage company, came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. Christmas was coming up and, being seven years old and worldly wise about Santa Claus, Joe thought this was a good time to tell his Mother what he wanted.
“Mom, I want a bike for Christmas.”
Little Joe was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble many times over the course of the year, both at school and at home. So, his mother asked him if he thought he really deserved to get a bike for Christmas.
“Of course”, he said.
Little Joe’s mother, being an Italian American woman of Roman Catholic persuasion, wanted him to reflect on his behavior over the past year.
“Go to your room, Joe, and think about how you have behaved this year. Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for Christmas.”
A bit annoyed, Joe stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.
Letter 1
Dear God, I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for Christmas. I want a red one.
Your friend, Joe.
Little Joe knew that it was not true. He had not been a good boy this year, and God would probably know this, even if the Fed did not. So, he tore up the note and started over.
Letter 2
Dear God, I have been an OK boy this year. I still would like a bike for Christmas.
Joe.
Little Joe knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, he wrote a third letter.
Letter 3
Dear God, I know I haven’t been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for Christmas. Please!
Thank you, Joe.
Again, Joe knew that it was not true. By now he was very frustrated. He went downstairs and told his mother that he needed to go to church.
She smiled, thinking her plan had worked. “Just be home for dinner,” she told him.
Little Joe walked down the street to the church on the corner. He went to the altar. Then, he glanced around to see if anyone was looking as he bent down and picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary. He slipped it up under his shirt and ran out the church.
Returning home, he ran to his room and shut the door. Then, he began to write his letter to God.
Letter 4
Dear God,
I got your mama.
If you want to see her again, send the bike.
Signed, You know who.
Moral: Everything you need to know to be the CEO of a big storage company you learn by the age of seven. Just ask Joe.
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